Hairgel, What?

~What is that you're putting in the pie?

-K-Row syrup.

~Looks nasty, looks like hairgel.

-Yeah, but it doesn't taste like hairgel.

~How do you know what hairgel tastes like?

-Oh, comeon! Haven't you ever put the hairgel in the palm of your hand and styled your hair and had a little bit left over? Then you just go *slurp,* Mmm... Hairgel.

~No.

Freaking Parking Lot in the Rain

What’s up with the parking lot designs on the Virginia Coast? I think I need to explain that my unhappiness with this asphalt garden is right up there with my great dislike of Paris Hilton, TomKat, the ghetto Walmart, and that damn WaWa commercial. You know the one. But seriously, the parking spaces? First of all, why are there ‘compact car’ spaces? Clearly the only people that can see the sign that says ‘compact car’ are the gianormous SUV’s that swing into these spaces, despite the fact that they cannot open both driver and passenger side doors at once, and will likely be shimmying in and out of one of the doors, inevitably rubbing materialized smog from the side of the vehicle onto the clothing. So the parking garages and parking lots are littered with these. And then there is the irrigation system. I think it’s supposed to be a water drainage plan, but it’s more like the person that laid the concrete also had a secret plot to come back later with rice seeds and grow a rice garden for later harvestation when the spring rain hits. And the hurricane rains. And the Indian summer rains. Okay, it freaking rains all the time here. Then I see this guy in traffic tonight with one of those steering wheel knobby thingies on it. You know, the kind from that John Candy movie with the talking horse, and he drives… Yeah and it was a relatively newer model smaller pickup truck. With a younger looking guy driving it. An almost attractive looking guy. Who really has that shit on their wheel, anyway? I dunno, maybe it helps him drive through the parking lot pond and swing that bitch into the compact car spot in the rain.

~~~~Heat Wave~~~~

It's crazy hot in here today. I'm on the 5th floor of a nine story building and it is just sweltering. That's the thing about hotness. And I'm not talking McSteamy hotness, I'm talking need to take a shower as soon as I get {fight through traffic} home. You feel all sticky. In an icky sticky kind of way. It's 80 degrees in the office, someone just checked. And tomorrow it will be in the 50's outside. From what I've heard the traffic outside is crazy as well. Heat induced hysteria, no doubt. The engine light on my car came on last night on my way home from the grocery. I have to do that when I get out of work too. I wonder what that's going to cost me. I hope that knock off purse I just bought over the internet didn't diminish my funds to the point where I can't keep my car-loto healthy. The heat is making me not want to work. not like lately I need an excuse to feel or not feel like working. Blah. Anyway, back to the thing about hotness: at least when it's cold you can keep layering clothes on. When it's hot, you can only strip down to a certain point. At least, if I'd like to keep my job here, that is. And since I don't work in a strip club, stripping is typically frowned upon in the workplace. But who doesn't love a good streaker, right? I will perhaps give this consideration and update as needed.

' Nobody likes their job... Nobody got enough sleep...' - Ani DiFranco

That is my Nurse and me. We've been friends since New Year's 98/99. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it can be a bad thing, to work with one of your best friends. Today, we suffer together.


No pics for this one, kiddels. Sorry- I'm at work. And I should probably be working right now. But I needed to vent. *deep breath in, sigh it out* I'm listening to Bach right now. The Best of Bach to be exact. It calms me. Or I like to think it does a close enough job at calming me. I picked it up at the K-Mart while buying lightbulbs one day. First thing this morning my boss comes over to my desk and asks how I am. I tell her I'm here. And that my ears hurt today. And that if they continue to hurt I will call in tomorrow because I cannot answer the Godforsaken phone if my ears hurt. And she then tells me that yeah, I look like I don't feel good today. Now, what kind of shit is that? Is that some sort of sympathetic insult? I look great today, as great as any girl can in scrubs. Then I have a patient in the office telling me that she's sorry for calling me so many times over the last several days. See, this is a prime example of how saying your sorry fixes nothing. She still called 15 times in 3 freaking days! You can't give me that time back! You can't take the stress back! And so I smile and say, oh you're no bother. Then there's my Doctor. He hasn't actually done anything today to piss me off yet, but I've only been here for and hour and 41 minutes today so far. I will sit here from my desk and take joy in looking into his office and squishing his head between my fingers. And the phone rings on. Now, I ask you- if you needed a prescription called in, wouldn't you have the number you want it called into ready when you're on the phone with the poor bastard that has to do this for you? Oh wait, the poor bastard is me, but poor bitch somehow doesn't sound right. I have come to realize that the phone is so not the best invention since pockets. In fact, I am on the phone so much at work that I keep my personal phone turned off until sometime after nine. I just can't take it! Sometimes I don't even listen to my iPod! Thats when you know I've had the day from hell. Hmph- hell. I think my personal hell would be to relive working at the DMV over and over for all eternity. Except that instead of talking to people at the desk, I have to use the phone to communicate. A headset. And they don't speak English. But I still do. Maybe they will speak hell-gremlin or something. I believe in heaven and hell, but I don't think everyone gets to go to either of them. I think there are a great number of people being reincarnated. I can easily tell you that my life lately has clearly been based on some type of harm I have done to mankind in my past life. To make point: I did work at motor vehicles for 5 fucking years. If that isn't atonement for crimes of a life forgotten, I don't know what is. Only slightly more enjoyable is the desk I sit at now. Slightly. Okay, back to work. These charts aren't going to disappear if I just keep looking at them with resentment.

Parking Karma.

I don't mean like, 'park your karma at the door,' I mean like parking you car -parking space- karma. I have a friend, and truly this is her story, that was dating a guy that lived downtown. He gave her his city parking pass so she could visit him and not worry about getting a ticket. Nice enough, right? Well, six months later they break up and she neglects to return the parking pass with the rest of his things. And I think she kept a t-shirt. Anyway, two months go by and he asks her (as they have remained friends) for the pass back. Now, he has asked her for this pass since the break up, but she has maintained that she had no such pass in her possession. She is feeling a little guilty though. So she goes to his place to pick up a sweater she had left over there while hanging out with mutual friends the week before and sneaks the pass back into his room. The junk-drawer in his dresser to be exact. A place where he will easily find it and likely think it has been lost in there all along. My friend leaves the loft feeling down about the loss of a golden pass like that, so she goes over to the mall to buy herself a little happy. Low and behold what happens to her, but the first parking spot (after the handicaps) on the ground floor is open. No incoming traffic to be seen. She eases her jeep into it thinking, 'Damn! What a good spot!' and goes into the mall for some shopercise. Now, I ask you: was it karma? Was it parking karma? She got like the fourth spot in the entire garage open. That never happens to me, or anyone I know! The only explanation is that the universe rewarded her with said spot after she returned the parking pass to it's rightful owner. Do not underestimate the power of karma.

Endometriosis: My Disease Defines Me

My disease defines me. I have come to this realization today, when I have already decided before noon that I will have to skip the afternoon workout. Or slight it to be just an easy bike ride around the block, if possible. And then I thought about it, my life and how this disease makes me who I am. When I wake in the morning and sit on the bed with my feet on the floor to get up and start the day, the first thought is… "Am I in pain this morning?" and the rest of the day will be according to the answer to that question. Including what pants I wear that day. It makes me decide whether to take the stairs or the elevator. I work in the medical field; it makes me more sensitive to patients with chronic pain. It makes me a more sympathetic person to those who are sick. It also determines my diet. Certain foods, like gluten products, caffeine, and chocolate irritate my pain and make it less tolerable on a daily basis. It makes me get out of bed and practice yoga and ride my stationary bike for a quick 10 minutes to pump endorphins through my body to get me through the workday. My disease also is the deciding factor in my own health care choices. Like what vitamins and supplements I take and what herbal teas I drink. My disease makes me look to the future and act compulsively instead of planning things. It has taught me that if I feel good today, I should be active today, not put off going somewhere or doing something for a later date. I will likely have to cancel that day due to the pain. It makes good days seem like great days, and can make a bad day last forever. It makes me appreciate those who are understanding to my unique situation all that much more. And yes, I think it is unique, because though I knowI am far from being alone in this struggle, I am also the only person I know, and the only person my friends and family know with this illness. It is incurable. And it makes me want to be 20 years older for my next birthday. It makes me more understanding to other people with afflictions I don't have, or don't know anyone else with. It makes me more gentle and patient with the children I am around, knowing that having my own, one day could be less of a reality than I would like to acknowledge. Even as I sit here at my desk, typing this, the pain is a dull and constant throb in my lower right pelvic region. As soon as I stand it will migrate across to the other side and become stronger. And no one looking at me knows it. Because I still look healthy on the outside, but my body wages awar constantly, even while I sleep, to try to correct a problem that biologically it cannot fix. This leaves me exhausted, but I just look to others like I've had a long day at work. . .
And so finally this disease makes me an optical illusion.

Unhealthy survey addiction?

I am a survey addy. I really like filling them out and reading other peoples' responses. It is an addiction. Though, not unhealthy. Like my chips and salsa addiction.


Do you give the peace sign a lot?
Not that I really can account for.

2. How many Abercrombie polos do you own?
0-I thought that was a menswear store

3. Whens the last time you kissed someone?
Um, I think October 24th. But it was pretty hot.

4. Can you do a cartwheel?
I used to be able to. I might bust my ass if I tried now!

5. Would you're board goofy or regular?
Is this a trick question?

6. How Many Times Have you been to the mall this week?
I was forced to be at the mall on Sunday. Two malls, actually, at Tyson's Corner.

7. Do you regret something you did yesterday?
Umm... I regret that I didn't work out, but I was exhausted.

8. Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mostly pollen, but cheap lotion or body wash and a slew of detergents and soaps.

9. Have you ever been tubing?
Yes, and that was long, long ago!

10. Has school started yet?
Wait, I think I might be too old to be taking this survey.. ...

11. Do you own a guitar?
I used to, couldn't make the commitment to learn to play. I play the radio very well though.

12. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No. but I've been in a fire engine before.

14. Who do you hate?
Hmmm.. isn't that bad chi? I'm not going to say that I hate anybody. That's too strong a word.

15. Crayons or markers?
Depends on the craft.

16. What age do you wish you were?
The first year completely out of menopause.

17. Do you shower facing the shower head or with your back to it?
Both. And I sing.

18. Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
Cellie in my left, change in my right.

19. What is the closest object to your right?
Jennifer, the Float Nurse.

20. Do you like school?
Did I like school? Not really. I like learning with out tests.

21. How many windows are up on your computer?
4

22. Do you share your computer with anyone?
nope

23. What kind of cell phone doSamsungve?
samsung

24. What color are the walls of your room?
Almond, I think

25. Are you wearing socks?
Red with pink angels. Washer's broke- I need to buy new white socks, it's the only thing I've run out of in a week!

26. How many hours did you sleep last night?
Under 6, I think

27. Did you ever get the chicken pox?
When I was seven. My brother had them too.

30. Have you been outside your house yet today?
To leave for work.

31. What is the last movie you saw in theatres?
Employee of the month

32. Did youwasn'te it?
It wasn't constant laughter funny, but it had it's moments

YOU:
[Relationship status]- number one single
[Parents Still Together]- 30+ years
[Siblings]- 1 brother
[Pets]- pet rock. It's okay, I have a fenced in yard.

LOVE:
[You believe in love at first sight?]- zazazoo at first sight, maybe.
[You believe in "the one?"]- oh hell no!
[Too shy to make the first move?]- I like to make the first move!
[Where do you want to live] Annapolis, MD
[How many kids do you want]- no one in their right mind would let me have kids!
[Do you want to get married]- nah- I'm more of the "permanent girlfriend" type

IN THE PAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
[Bought something]- yep- knock off Coach wristlet
[Gotten sick]-sick of charts, does that count?
[Sang]-beggingith Scarlet Begonias. who can resist?
[Felt stupid]- only mostly.
[Gotten high]- never
[Danced crazy]- not today
[Gotten your hair cut]-no, the last time the chick gave my bangs!
[Watched cartoons]- no cable
[Lied]-I never lie
[Hung out with friends] I sit next to one of my best friends all day, 5 days a week.

LAST PERSON THAT:
[Slept in your bed]- me, of course
[Saw you cry]- I can't remember who last actually saw me cry.
[Person you cried over]- my own circumstances
[SaAlisonvie with you]- Alyson
[That you talked on the phone with]- A patient
[That texted you] Lora, I think

HAVE YOU EVER:
[Been to California]- No
[Been to Europe]- no..
[Wished you were the opposite sex]- no- boys are messy

HONESTLY:
Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
The way that boys are messy!

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Typing this survey when I should be working

Honestly, what did you do today?
Work work work work work work

Honestly, do you like someone?
Unfortunately, I'm realizing, I'm in a lotta like with someone.

My first non-MySpace blog!

Blogging. I like to blog. I like to send my ideas out into the universe and see what feedback the universe gives me. Now, I'm not saying that the universe uses the internet as a means to communicate, but since the universe has no limitations, I suppose signs could be given through cyberspace. I mean, why not, right? Afterall, it's got to communicate with you in a way in which you will be receptive, I guess. I keep a look out for signs all the time. When I hear a person's name over and over in the least expected places or when I keep seeing an image over and over, I am inclined to believe that the universe is trying to get me to be in someway drawn to this specific person or thing and then make choices accordingly. I also like blogging because people will send their ideas to me and sometimes it helps me to look at things in a different perspective. It also helps me to vent when I write, and knowing that I don't know the reader enables me to be uninhibited. I like to read random blogs too. I think that you learn more about a person through their blogs than you do their profile, when you 'meet' someone over the net. Is it really considered 'meeting' someone? I mean, it's not like we shook hangs and greeted each other. So is it just coming into contact with people? Just cyber friends? I think it is important to point out the obvious here: I get off topic a lot. My thoughts wonder. See, I need the blogging for an outlet for this disorder. Spasticness. Literary A.D.D. Anyway, that's my profound thought on blogging. Trust me, there's more where this came from!