Boys Night Out

Last night I hung out with the guys. And I think that they forgot that I was a chick for most of the night. I had a fucking blast! I get over to my friend Brent's house and pick him up, he is impressed that I drive stick, like girls normally don't drive standards or something. We make it over to Steve's house and our friend Mo meets us there. I am sitting on the couch watching Kill Bill 1 and they are having a ski-ball match. I am drinking my one cocktail of the night: sprite and stoli-razz. Yummy. This goes on until about 10:30 when we decide to actually go out so they can look for hot women to swoon. Fine by me.

We all pile into my car and again have the stick shift conversation before arriving at the Ocean Front to stir up some trouble. Now mind you, we're jammn' out to old skool hip hop in the car and they're talking about hooking up and were everyone (except me) will sleep tonight. We get there and meet up with their friend Stephanie who I remember having pictures of, but no distinct recollection of knowing. I tell her this and she says yes- Mo's B-day party. I say, right, you were drinking out of two bottles of beer at once, and she says that was her, and oh wait! aren't you the girl that was making out with that guy in the bathroom and got kicked out of the club??? Yes, it was I (and there was nothing going on but lip to lip conduct, honestly. And Brent says That was you? I never know who the girl was! Yes. It was I. We watch the end of the Dallas game, which I cheer for the Steelers (keep your comments to yourself) or any team playing Dallas. So, on top of it being a great game, the SeaHawks won. Awesome. I then get to hear all about the women in the joint. Their asses, titts, hair, etc. etc. etc. I interject when I truely think it is a great ass, or the boobs were bought. I have become one of the guys. They finish their beers and we roll to another club.

This time they talk me into a shot- cherry bomb. It's only 11 something. Then we start to dance. Mo is a great dancer- Brent is your typical white guy who can't dance, but really likes to, and Steve stands and sways. They are not mingling. In an effort to help them out, I dance up to two women and tell them that my friends are really shy, but want to dance, would they please dance with them. Now, my friends are not bad looking guys. Mo is actually very good looking, and Brent's cute. Okay, so Steve isn't all that, but he does have a nice smile. They dance and then the alcohol and this new vote of confidence kicks in. They are having a great time, and so am I. Dancing with them, dancing with whoever... Then they play Tribe Called Quest: Scenario, which I love, so I am in the middle of the floor dancing by myself when this red hat guy comes up and is grinding away. I break free, but after the song is finished he's trying to talk to me. So I am prentending I can't hear him over the music. He is hanging around me, creepy, so I send a text to my boys since I've lost them. I see Brent across the room, the drunk ass opens his phone to check the text, but then uses it as a personal spotlight while dancing. Fool! read the damn thing! He does, and I guess Mo did at the same time because the next thing I know they are all three swarming me with hugs like they just found me. It was good- Red Hat got the hint. We continue to dance into the night. Then it's last call and the lights come on. That's when the trouble of being DD comes in. You see, now they can get a good look at the women they've been macking on. They like what they see, and I am trying my best to wrangle three men out of the club. I get outside with one and wait for the other two to emerge.

Well, one by one they come out, only to try to hit on the women waiting for cabs, and offer them a ride in my little Civic. This takes approx 27 minutes after the bar closed before I talk them into going back to the car, with promises of food on the horizon.

We get to iHop (which, by the way, they hopped all the way from the car to the door) and they are drunk and loud and pretty amusing. Then our waitress is a chick Mo went out on a date with several weeks ago, but he never called her back. Nothing says 'sorry for not calling' like dragging your drunk friends into your place of business at 3 in the morning. They finish their food, and half of mine before we go to pay. I am now listening to them - in last ditch effort- hit on iHop women. I drag them out to the car against their will and we all pile in where I drop them off after hearing all about the bitches they could have had tonight if they had started the evening earlier. I ask Brent was he staying at Steve's too, or was I taking him home? He says if it isn't any trouble he'd rather be home. Mo is trying to talk him out of this with the prospect of continuing the ski-ball tournament and drinking more. He declines and they have this low exchange of words in the back seat before Mo says Cori isn't offering to get you back to your place to hook up with! You are correct Mo. Brent: Maybe I'm trying to get her back there to hook up with her! Actaully dude, you're probably going to have more luck with the ski-ball advancement tonight. I'm joking! I'm just joking! I just want to stay in my own bed tonight. Good thing. I take them all home and get a bunch of breakast smelling drunk hugs.

After I wake up I go over these events on the phone with my friend, Al. She had wanted me to be wingman last night- but I was wingman for her the night before and didn't get home until 7am. I wasn't planning on that again for last night. Technically I think I am a 'chickenwing'. Although, I did get to make out with Al's object of affection's equally hot wingman that night. Sometimes you just have to take one for the team...She goes over her evening, clearly not as much fun as mine. I defend that I did not make out with anyone, sorry I didn't meet up with you later; wait gotta go- Adrienne's beeping in. No, I didn't make out with anyone, sorry I never made it to meet up with you....Got a text from Amber, No I didn't make out with anyone, I was sober, sorry I didn't make it to your friend's b-day party, why are you so pissed at me? I told you I wasn't planning on going to begin with, I don't even know his last name.... So how does that happen? I have a great night out with the guys and somehow still can't avoid chick drama. Figures, and it figures why I'm invited to guys night, and they aren't.