Weird Things About Me

There are several weird things about me. At first I was going to post just six. Then I decided that I'm not really sure how many weird things there are about me, so how can I label a blog with that specific number? So, after reflection, here are the things about me that I think are weird. Or, actually, that other people point out to me as being weird:

1. I have to bleach clean my toilet before I vomit into it.

2. I wear pajamas to sleep in every night and then put on a robe when I wake up, even though I live alone.

3. I NEVER let anyone share drinks with me. This includes boyfriends.

4. I make up words and use them interchangeably with normal English vocabulary. (etc: electronical, cancelization)

5. I don't celebrate holidays or birthdays voluntarily.

6. I shop in my house (articles I already own) for the above forced occasions.

7. I am a kissing-slut. It never goes past second base (over the clothes fondling) and I rarely know more than their first or last names. Yes, I realize this directly conflicts with number 3.

8. I have a wheat intolerance, which while I understand is not in my control to change, is still pretty weird. How many people do you know that can't drink beer?

9. I don't have parties at my house because I don't want to clean up after them.

10. I hate eating breakfast during the week, but hate to miss it on the weekends.

11. I like to shop alone, with my iPod in my ears, as opposed to with girlfriends or my Mum.

12. I call my mom my Mum.

13. I make up a fake name when I meet men at clubs or bars. She has a different job and background each time, I just make it up as I go along.

14. All male waiters are "Kip", all female waiters are "Sally." (I don't say it sarcastically, I say it like I am convinced that is the right name. They seldom correct me. So that means that they are used to being called the wrong name, or there is a staggering statistical slant in waitstaff named either Kip or Sally.

15. I cheer for the Steelers, but never watch a single game all the way through all season.

16. I don't let waitstaff seat me in sections where there are children if there are other child free zone tables available in the restaurant.

17. When I eat at "authentic" Mexican restaurants, the waiters, not the waitresses mind you, but the waiters always try to strike up a conversation with me in Spanish. To which I smile and say, "No habla Espanol." And bat my eyelashes. People usually don't believe this until the see it. I'm Dark Irish, and as white as it gets- not to mention the only thing in Spanish I can clearly say is, "uno mas tequila" and "verde salsa, porfavor" with a very cut non tongue rolling accent.

18. Since I have unique dietary needs from my friends I refer to imitation foods by their names with an F replacing the first letter. Like, instead of tofu pups being 'fake hot dogs' I call them Fot dogs. Fake cheese is Fheese. Milk is Filk, Brownies are Frownies... You get the idea.

19. I watch church on tv every Sunday, but never step foot inside a real one. I love the tv evangalists! They get so excited because they have to grab the attention of the viewers at home, like myself, and keep them watching for the ratings. Anything with a "Can you feel the POWER?!" or "Can I get an AMEN my brothers and sisters?!" If people get up on stage waiting to be touched on the forhead- that's bonus!

....... Nothing else really comes to mind. I don't know that any of these things are more weird than other things other people do or don't do. Nineteen really doesn't look like that much now that it's in black and white. Well, green and white. I'm sure I'll think of more.