Recounting the Events of the Night

That's Amber, Jason, and myself last Friday. The band was called 80'z Enough, be the way. They really were good. We danced most of the night away and downed the drinks. Well, I downed two drinks, they downed several. Since that night I have discovered that we drank, and dialed. We called a few people out of our phones individually and then woke people up well after midnight to pass the phone around and try to get more people to hang with us. When we were leaving club one to go to club two, we actually did run into a friend that we had convinced to come out and hang walking up to the steps, hugged him and said we'd catch him later. .

Leaving him there in the rain to wonder, wtf just happened? At the next club we get out of the car and somehow my brother is showing off his boxers to Amber in the parking lot. The next thing I know, there is some big ass dude offering my brother $20 for his Christmas Scooby-Doo boxers. He declines, though respectfully, as none of us are quite sure if the guy wanted a pair of used boxers because he's a nut-job or if he wanted to see my brother strip down in a parking lot. Neither option was particularly inviting. We go into the bar and it's more dead than fish in a jar.

So we go on to iHop. When pulling up to the iHop, I roll up on the curb and there's a loud noise, but the radio is so loud that we're not sure what it was or where it came from. While we're sitting at the booth, our waiter comes up to get our drink order. His nametag says SAIDE -pronounced "Sy-EEd." He takes off to get us some beverages and Amber says, what was that guy's name? What was on his name tag? "Said"?? To which my brother and I just laughed at her. We ate, we took Amber home and then went back to my house, where my brother was staying instead of with my folks while in town.

The next morning he and I ventured out for some last minute gifts and there was this horrible noise coming from my car! It was running fine, but the noise was just cause to stop the vehicle and take a better look. Now, I must say, I have gone out to my car on Saturdays and found some pretty strange things inside the car. Bottles, beef jerky, smokes, gift wrapping bows, a straw hat, a baby car seat, other peoples' coats and shoes, etc. etc. etc. But nothing has ever happened to the outside of the car. We discovered that when I had rolled up on that curb, I had actually dislodged the splash guard from the bottom of my car. It had been scraping the ground and my front tires the entire way to Amber's house, from Amber's house and to thus point in our travel. The car's fine, by the way. And it was a great night. We had good, clean fun, isn't that worth it?

Sweet Dreams and Recent Obsessions

In spite of my recent WTF with a certain gentleman, I did have a fantastic dream about Zach Braff the other night. I mean like DAMN!-good dream that made me wake up, realize that it was only a dream, and then try to close my eyes as quickly as possible and fall back into that same dream. Which never ever works. In this case however, I did get into another Zach Braff dream. It was not as good as the first. ******* In the first dream I was at a party with him. Everyone was drinking and at some point there was a hot tub involved. Then he and I are going up some steps into a bedroom where we are laughing and I'm saying I can't drive home, I've had to much to drink. His response was to tell me that I had better stay there, and he helped me out of my dress, which strangely resembles a toga... Next came the making out and, well, the hot sex. It wasn't dirty porn dream sex, though. It was drunken party sex. So I woke up in the middle (damn, didn't even get to finish!) with that 'this isn't really happening-go back to sleep and enjoy it' feeling! When I closed my eyes again I was outside of a large federal looking building walking down very wide steps to a busy street. He was walking up the steps to the same building. We totally had a moment- not the good kind- the hey we were drunk, lets pretend it never happened moment. We made casual fumbling small talk before continuing on our paths of different direction. All in all, I'd say it was a pretty realistic chain of events dream. I mean, if you leave out the it was Zach Braff part and all. Oh! And that I would actually have a one night stand while drunken at a party. I may be a kissing slut, but I somehow manage to keep my pants on. It's the endo. I would probably be a dirty whore if it weren't for the chronic pelvic pain. This has led to a new obsession with Zach Braff. I watched Garden State, including the deleted scenes, bloopers, and commentary. I have been listening to the soundtrack (which is currently my fave [not burned by me] cd anyway) and watching the Scrubs re-runs everyday at 7pm this week. And part of last week. I haven't googled him or anything, but it's just weird how I feel like I want to watch him on TV. This is so not like the time Justin Timberlake came into town so my friend and I went to Missy Elliott's house to steak out and see if we could catch sight of him... Seriously, that was years ago. Like 4 years ago. And it isn't stalking unless the object of the stalk turns around and flat out tells you to stop following him. Thank you Va Bch police. Forget visions of sugarplums next week, I think I'd like to convert!

Weird Things About Me

There are several weird things about me. At first I was going to post just six. Then I decided that I'm not really sure how many weird things there are about me, so how can I label a blog with that specific number? So, after reflection, here are the things about me that I think are weird. Or, actually, that other people point out to me as being weird:

1. I have to bleach clean my toilet before I vomit into it.

2. I wear pajamas to sleep in every night and then put on a robe when I wake up, even though I live alone.

3. I NEVER let anyone share drinks with me. This includes boyfriends.

4. I make up words and use them interchangeably with normal English vocabulary. (etc: electronical, cancelization)

5. I don't celebrate holidays or birthdays voluntarily.

6. I shop in my house (articles I already own) for the above forced occasions.

7. I am a kissing-slut. It never goes past second base (over the clothes fondling) and I rarely know more than their first or last names. Yes, I realize this directly conflicts with number 3.

8. I have a wheat intolerance, which while I understand is not in my control to change, is still pretty weird. How many people do you know that can't drink beer?

9. I don't have parties at my house because I don't want to clean up after them.

10. I hate eating breakfast during the week, but hate to miss it on the weekends.

11. I like to shop alone, with my iPod in my ears, as opposed to with girlfriends or my Mum.

12. I call my mom my Mum.

13. I make up a fake name when I meet men at clubs or bars. She has a different job and background each time, I just make it up as I go along.

14. All male waiters are "Kip", all female waiters are "Sally." (I don't say it sarcastically, I say it like I am convinced that is the right name. They seldom correct me. So that means that they are used to being called the wrong name, or there is a staggering statistical slant in waitstaff named either Kip or Sally.

15. I cheer for the Steelers, but never watch a single game all the way through all season.

16. I don't let waitstaff seat me in sections where there are children if there are other child free zone tables available in the restaurant.

17. When I eat at "authentic" Mexican restaurants, the waiters, not the waitresses mind you, but the waiters always try to strike up a conversation with me in Spanish. To which I smile and say, "No habla Espanol." And bat my eyelashes. People usually don't believe this until the see it. I'm Dark Irish, and as white as it gets- not to mention the only thing in Spanish I can clearly say is, "uno mas tequila" and "verde salsa, porfavor" with a very cut non tongue rolling accent.

18. Since I have unique dietary needs from my friends I refer to imitation foods by their names with an F replacing the first letter. Like, instead of tofu pups being 'fake hot dogs' I call them Fot dogs. Fake cheese is Fheese. Milk is Filk, Brownies are Frownies... You get the idea.

19. I watch church on tv every Sunday, but never step foot inside a real one. I love the tv evangalists! They get so excited because they have to grab the attention of the viewers at home, like myself, and keep them watching for the ratings. Anything with a "Can you feel the POWER?!" or "Can I get an AMEN my brothers and sisters?!" If people get up on stage waiting to be touched on the forhead- that's bonus!

....... Nothing else really comes to mind. I don't know that any of these things are more weird than other things other people do or don't do. Nineteen really doesn't look like that much now that it's in black and white. Well, green and white. I'm sure I'll think of more.

May Wonders Never Cease?

So this was something that happened just this morning. A patient called in with a question for the doctor. He said that he had read that Advair could have cardiac side effects, especially in black males. Being a black male, this is confusing to him because there are black people on the commercials for the drug.

Are you freaking kidding me? I have to leave this as a message for my doc. Not, the patient is concerned about the cardiac side effects, but that it's because he saw a commercial with black men on it. .................... Right.