Your Girl is an Idiot.

I have a roommate that I had no hand in choosing. I thought it best not to protest the idea last month because I pay ridiculously low rent and did not want to give my landlords any reason to raise it. I also don't plan on living there for much longer and thought it would be nice for the landlords to already have someone else living there. That way I don't have to clean anything but my room. Bonus.

There are however, a few downfalls. first of all, his cologne stinks. It might not smell that bad if it weren't for the fact that he wears so much of it that my sense of smell is overloaded and I have to use all of my strength to not vomit as I brush my teeth. I have helped to avoid this by both holding my breath and putting on the fan while in the bathroom for any reason, since he insists on spraying himself in there. I do the same, as all of my Bath and Body Works daily use lotions and sprays are located in there. I can only hope the scents displease him in an effort to balance out the universe.

Next we have the problem that he has to use all of my things. From the pillow he lays his head on to the silverware he eats with. The furniture, the pots and pans, the drapes, comforter and even back patio table: All mine. He has nothing but clothes and a mismatch of flatware and plates I'm sure he lifted from Applebee's. He shows no respect to my things and we had to have a little chat about eating anything with a marinara sauce in it on my furniture. I did not, however, confront him on finishing off the last double shot of Southern Comfort that was in the freezer. Again, of MINE. Since it wasn't a half, or even a quarter of a bottle, I figured I couldn't really ask for a replacement. All future bottles of alcohol will be kept in my bedroom, getting me just a little closer to alcoholism.

He is also loud. He has to get up earlier for work than I do and it does not fail that every freaking morning he is waking me up bounding down the stairs like a galloping stead or making noise in his room or the bathroom like there are monkeys packing luggage in there. I have not worked out in two weeks because by the time I fall back asleep after being woken up, I just cannot will myself out of bed fifteen minutes later to get on the bike. I think I need to invest in some earplugs on the way home from work today. And there is no way that I am going downstairs to do yoga while he's down there eating breakfast. That brings me right around to my final problem with him.

He talks. All the time. About mostly nothing I am interested in. And I think even more than the non-stop lip service (and not the good kind) is the way he talks. Have you ever seen the movie American Pie? This one time, at band camp..... I'm not kidding you. He has somehow managed to make the last word of each sentence be in a higher pitch, making each statement a question. This reminds my of the girl Brian was dating on the Family Guy. Stewie points out that Brian's girlfriend had such an annoying talent of the question statement. He summed it up best when he told Brian: Your girl is an idiot.

Maybe the earplugs can help with this problem as well.

Soul Searching at the Biltmore

Maybe it was more like shoe searching, but I was at the Biltmore. Did you know you couldn't take photos or video in there? Huh. I walked around the house, the conservatory, the winery, the inn and rode all over the land in the shuttle bus when I got lost. It was impressive. Really. I had my iPod in my ears for most of the five hour day. The soundtrack of my life includes The Shins, The Replacements, Black Lab, Dog's Eye View and Bonnie Somerville. There were a few guests tracks of Snoop Dogg, Biggie, Kelis, and Ice Cube. What can I say? I'm a pretty well rounded individual.

The shoe searching? Well, that came into play while I was shopping in Ashville and decided I needed a chocolate pair of kicks. I was thinking Vans, but never found any that I wanted to drop the cash on after just spending money on the trip. Either way, I bought a pair of white old skool Adidas since I won a $50.00 gift card today. Sweet surprise, I must say. Glad I didn't buy those kicks now in NC.

What I was really doing there was taking time to myself. I just had this urge overkill to get into the car and drive. Seven hours is good enough for that, I think. And the house was amazing. I kept trying to imagine what it must have been like to grow up in that place. Like when your date would come to pick you up. Like he wasn't intimidated! Of course Mr. V probably made his only daughter date on the Estate. I mean, he would have told her: Go out? For what? You can go to the bowling ally in the cellar! And he can take you to dinner in one of the four dining rooms! Yeah, that would have been my dad.

The library really was amazing. It was my favorite room. I really am a geek in rock star's clothing.

So back to the soul searching... I've decided to move when my lease is up. At least thirty or forty miles from here. I need to get away. I thought about how I wouldn't even live here if I hadn't gotten involved with my ex. So I think I need to follow the path I never took now. It's not the same as running or starting over. I mean, if that were the case I'd be kicking my grandma out of my old bedroom and asking my folks to buy organic peanut butter from now on. I'm not going crazy, I just need the change. My job and where I live. That's what needs to be done. I've had some good times out here at the beach, but there are also a few demons I'd like to put some space between. Yeah, that does sound like running, but at least I just got those new Adidas, right?

There are just people here that I need to be away from. For different reasons, but the same basic idea: they are in someway stopping me from progressing. One because I love too much, and one because I never want to see him again. Others because I think it's just my time to move on. I spoke with my best friend today, and after eight years through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, I told her that I really needed her to tell me that I wasn't going to make her feel like I was abandoning her by leaving. She said it didn't matter where I lived, I was her best friend and we would see each other regardless. She thinks I'm running, but if I thought it was best for me to get outta here, she would help anyway she could.

I can't stay here for my friends. And anyway, it's not that far, where I'm going. It seems that way because you have to go over a 3 mile drawbridge or go underwater through a tunnel to get to where I will be. It used to even be long distance calling to communicate, but that's all been changed with cell phones. It will mean weekends instead of weekday hanging out, that's all. I will be happier. Hell, just being happy would be a start. It was difficult to say out loud what I had decided long ago about the next chapter in my life. That's the thing isn't it? When you have an idea in your head, you keep it there safe and sound until you have made up your mind that is the only solution, despite what anyone else says. Then when you tell your closest friends or family, you have this thick shield already protecting your idea so that you cannot be swayed. So far there was initial protest from everyone I've told, but only one person is actively looking for another apartment for me at the oceanfront so I will stay. She is not understanding what I need to do. Or why I need to do it, I guess. But it isn't her path to travel. It's mine. And I think I'm ready for it. I'm ready to work without the net.

Sure, I'll be closer to my parents, but for some reason it hurts me more when I know they see me struggle. That's the difference. My closest friends out here see all sides of me. The weak and strong. My parents only see what I want them to see, and that image is what I hope to actually become. I'm not even trying to say I think this is going to be an easy undertaking. But I am saying I know I can only benefit from it. There isn't much more to being down that I can get!

If I had Three Wishes....

Lets just say that I was a treasure hunter. That's a lot more fun than my current occupation (where I am now, typing this blog up.) Let's just say that me and Indiana Jones, that's right, I loves me some Hahn Solo, are in the Persian desert hunting treasure. Yes, I am well aware of the heat and the beads of sweat that collect on his sun kissed brow as we look deep into the eyes of one another....... That's a totally different blog. So, we find the lost treasure of Ali Baa-baa. And I realize that might not make a whole lotta sense, but I am in Persia with a significantly younger Harrison Ford- let me have my fantasy.

So we find the treasure and of all the gold and jewels and pearls and a lamp. Not like a Tiffany's or anything, but a genie lamp. I would say genie bottle, but that damn Christina Aguillria song might get stuck in my head. On a similar note, Indiana can rub me anyway he wants.... I digress......
POOF! This big blue genie appears after I rub the lamp! He has a round physique and his voice bears a striking resemblance to Robin Williams. So he sings a little song and does a little dance and says I have three wishes, but I can't wish for more wishes.

On the long trip back to America, I think over what my three wishes would be. I also devise a plan in regards to the safety of the lamp. Indie has no say in the matter whatsoever, because I will include him in my first wish. That will make him happy.

For my first wish, I wish that Indiana Jones and I are both as wealthy as the Olson twins, with taxes being up to date and nothing owed. I think this pretty much sets us up for life. It also gives us the groundwork for buying anything I didn't wish for. E-Z fo sheezy.

For my next wish, I wish for all incurable diseases to be eradicated. I'm covered under that one, and so are a few family members and friends, not to mention most of the worldly population that would benefit.

For my final wish, I think I would have to go with the no more acts of violence and crime. I figure that is a big umbrella that covers your local crooks and terrorists alike.

Now, in procurement for my family's well being, I shall pass the lamp to my mother. This will insure that the rest of my family gets the lamp and can help themselves as needed. After each member has used the lamp, the last one is to free the genie so that no one can un-wish our wishes and bring more pain and suffering back into the world. There might be better things to do with those wishes, but I think I'm off to a good start. As for me and Indiana Jones? Well folks, I could let you read it, but you would have to be 21 and up and pay a dollar a word to read it!